A Thousand Years
by AddisonSp
Summary: Don't you know Kate? Death can't stop true love, it can only delay it for awhile. Castle and Beckett meet in the afterlife.
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings. First, because I got such great feedback from my other stories, I decided to post this one. I started this story (in my head) months ago, but actually began writing it in February. It has been a joy to write, and I hope that you all like it too. **

**A couple of warnings though. 1. There is sadness, a lot of it, 2. It does have a happy ending , although within a few short chapters you won't believe me. I promise it does. This story takes place after Pandora/Linchpin. No secrets have been revealed.  Given the genre, some reality must be suspended for this one. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following movies or books, but they did inspire this:**

** The Divine Comedy, The Shack, The Lovely Bones, What Dreams May Come. **

**I also do not own Castle. Never did. Never will. **

**Finally, A Thousand Years is by Christina Perri, not me. ok, enjoy! **

* * *

Their second kiss happened after their disastrous case with the CIA. Between Castle's feelings of betrayal, and the seeds of doubt and jealousy brought about by Sophia, both were a bit raw with emotions. There was also the gleaming fact that they had both nearly lost their own lives, and each other, yet again. Call it fear and relief that, once again, one of them narrowly escaped death (he would die in the explosion and she would die without him). Regardless, the outcome was the same: two people, very much in love, giving into a moment of weakness and need.

Following a fantastic dinner prepared by Martha and Alexis, the four settled on the couch for a glass of wine and conversation. As Alexis sipped her diet coke she smiled softly at the detective, once again conveying her gratitude for having her dad safely returned to her. _This girl has had a really rough year,_ Beckett thought to herself. Between the hostage situation, her breakup, Stanford and now experiencing the darkness in the world through an internship, Kate was amazed and impressed that she seemed to be doing so well. In many ways Alexis reminded her of herself, before her mother and minus the rebellious streak of course.

Soon Kate stood and made her way to return her glass to the kitchen. Alexis followed. "Detective Beckett?"Alexis softly and timidly spoke.

Beckett turned and smiled, "Please, call me Kate." The red-head smiled as well and relaxed a bit.

"I just wanted to say thank you again, for everything. I'm sorry that I've been a little cold over the past few months, and I never properly thanked you for all the times that my dad came home safe because of you."

"Alexis, you don't need to explain or apologize. You've been under an incredible amount of stress and besides, I didn't think you weren't rude at all. "

"Thanks Kate", she smiled "but I do need to apologize. After you were shot it freaked me out a bit. I was scared. I was scared for you, but I was also scared for my dad. The bank was not your fault and I still took my anger out on you. But working with you all now, seeing you two together, well….now I know that you're as devoted to him as he is to you…I'm thankful for that."

Blushing furiously, Beckett cleared her throat. She was at a complete loss for words at the girl's statement. Picking up on the discomfort, Alexis quickly moved in and hugged the detective. "Thanks again", she squeezed quickly before letting go. With another quick smile she was gone.

"Dad, I'm going to bed now. I've got an early day tomorrow because I want to get some reading in before I have to get to the lab." Rick smiled lovingly at his daughter "goodnight pumpkin" he kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand. He was relieved that she'd taken to the internship so well, even if it did mean that she had an all access pass to the drama between him and Beckett. _I'm need to have a long talk with Lanie_, he thought to himself.

"Well, I'm going to make my exit as well", Martha stated. "Kate darling, it was lovely to see you again. Please don't be such a stranger, we all love having you around."

"Thank you Martha", Beckett replied. "Have a good evening."

With a wink and a nod she was up the stairs, casually calling behind her "you two don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Laughing to himself, Rick shook his head…"That doesn't mean much does it?" Beckett simply smiled and joined him on the couch once again. There they sat in comfortable silence, both lost in their thoughts as they processed the last few days. Beckett, noticing a painting on the wall for the first time, broke the silence. "That painting is beautiful Castle. Is it new?"

"No", he replied. "It is quite old actually, but it was recently relocated from my room and placed out here. I'm glad you like it though."

Beckett stood and walked to the wall, she then took the details of the artwork in. On the canvas was a small white cottage with brown shutters and a brown roof. A warm glow emitted from the windows and smoke from the chimney. It reminded her of a Charles Kinkaid work, but at the same time not quite. In front of the cottage was a pathway, surrounded on both sides by a multitude of flowers with hues of bright reds and yellows, soft purples and blues, several shades of pink and pops of white throughout. To the side of the house was an archway, covered with greenery and interwoven with soft pink flowers. She was mesmerized. A stone path wound to the front door, which was a deep red color. _The red door- _she thought to herself, _the red door is what makes this painting distinct _from other paintings_._

"Who is the artist?" she asked.

"I don't know. Nobody signed it and my mother had it while I was growing up. I'm not sure how she came by it, but it always brought me comfort and warmth." He smiled to himself as if remembering something long-since forgotten as he again contemplated the painting himself.

Beckett understood. She couldn't explain it, but she wanted to be there. She wanted to experience the warmth and comfort of that cabin, nestled in a meadow with countless hues of green. Something about the painting made her feel home.

"Alexis calls it Green Gables", Castle startled her out of her thoughts. She turned to him and smiled, recalling some of her own favorite childhood books.

"I can understand that. There is something very warm and welcoming about the painting", Beckett replied.

Rick smiled "I think it is the feeling of family. The warmth of being reminded of the people who love you."

Beckett sighed, "Maybe for some. For others, the warmth of family is a lost concept; it's nothing more than an ideal."

Rick looked at her sadly, aware of where her thoughts were. He stepped closer and linked his pinky finger with hers. To his surprise, she did not pull away. Taking this as encouragement he stepped closer and turned towards her. She hesitantly met his eyes and he gently caressed her face.

"That is true Kate. For some, love and family are lost. Not for you though." He took her chin and her eyes met his. Both caught their breath as the electricity between them became palpable. "You have people who love you Kate, and I think you know that."

He inched closer to her, thumb brushing against her cheek. They were within inches of each other now. Rick slid both hands to cup the back of her head and drew her in. He kissed her forehead. Then, ever so slowly, as to not frighten her, he moved to kiss her cheek, then the other. She watched him breathlessly, but said nothing. She could hear the fierce beating of her own heart as he trailed kisses down to her jaw, and when he reached the sweet spot on her neck, just behind her ear, he felt her shutter.

Kate pulled back abruptly and moved out of his reach in an attempt to flee. "I'd better get going; Lots of paperwork to get through tomorrow." With that Beckett walked to the door and grabbed her jacket, wanting to get away from both him and her treacherous emotions as soon as possible. She turned around to say goodbye and was startled. There he was, close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her face. Kate felt that familiar feeling of panic once again began to set in. _Get out Kate! Get out now! Danger! You are not ready for this! _No matter how in love she was with this man, she had promised herself to thoroughly work through her issues with Dr. Burke before pushing things forward with Castle.

Richard Castle recognized the expression on her face exactly for what it was. Beckett was on the verge of freaking out. His Kate was in fight or flight mode and this time he wasn't going to give her the option of choosing flight. No, she was going to stay and they were going to discuss this.  
"Why are you running Kate? Aren't you tired of running?" She could feel her chest constrict and her voice trap in her throat as he whispered, "Why are you running from us?" He leaned in closer to her, noticing the flush in her cheeks, the increase in her breathing and the desire in her eyes. He whispered, his breath caressing her face and his fingers trailing up and down her neck "Why are you running from this Kate?" He leaned into her, hands holding either side of her face, and kissed her with intense passion, with all the desire he felt for the stubborn woman.

Kate trembled, responding to their kiss with all the longing she'd carried around over the years. Their kiss quickly deepened, as his tongue demanded entrance and her mouth granted it. She let out a moan as his hands made their way through her hair. As they came up for air castle looked into her eyes, searching her for some sort of absolution, a silent understanding that she wanted this as much as he did. That, he soon realized, was his mistake. With time to think came time to panic, with tears in her eyes and a tremble in her voice, "I can't. I'm not ready for this Rick." With that Kate was out the door.

Dammit, he thought to himself, catching his breath and running his fingers through his hair, she choose flight again. Castle went to bed that night with her taste on his lips and an ache in his heart; wondering just how far his actions had set them back this time.

* * *

Kate Beckett was tired, irritable and anxious. _Why did I let that happen?_ She thought to herself. She knew that her running would hurt him, but she also knew that she was not emotionally ready to dive into a relationship with Castle; Soon, but not yet. While she'd admitted to herself, and to Dr. Burke, that she did love Richard Castle, that she was deeply _in love_ with him, there was still emotional work to be done. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear his footsteps approach and did not notice him until a cup of coffee was set in front of her. Startled, she looked up to him and met his eyes. He smiled softly, and somewhat sadly.

"Kate" he began. "Can we please talk?"

"Over lunch Castle. I've got work to do now", she knew that her response was short and that it did nothing to ease ether one's anxiety. _Coward_, she thought to herself as she hid behind the job, behind the badge yet again.

Later that morning they were seated in their favorite booth, both lunch orders placed, Kate began to speak. "Look Castle, about last night…I'm not going to say that I regret it or that it was a mistake because it wasn't." He looked at her with joy and amazement. "However," she continued "It can't happen again for awhile." He gave her a questioning look. "I'm not sure I understand Kate."

" Do you remember that day on the swings? I told you that I wouldn't be ready to have the kind of relationship I wanted until this wall inside came down." He nodded to her.

"That wall is still there Castle. If I rushed into things with you physically, before I was ready emotionally, we wouldn't stand a chance. I want us to have a chance. Does that make sense?" He smiled sadly and nodded his head. "I understand Kate." He also understood what she was admitting and appreciated just how big a step this was in the right direction.

"I'm not saying never Rick. I'm just saying I need some more time, ok?"

"So do you want us to forget it happened then?" he asked somewhat apprehensively.

"I think that for now it would be best. I don't want to lose you as my partner. You mean too much to me."

He smiled softly at her, squeezing her hand "Partners then?" He asked. "Yes", she replied "partners." Both left the restaurant that day with an ache in their hearts and a hope for something more, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Kate sighed to herself as she replayed the memory through her mind. His response had done nothing but prove to her more that he was the love of her life. His patience and his willingness to wait for her was astounding. It motivated her to work harder on herself, to bring herself closer to being with him.


	2. Chapter 2

"_But if you could, do you think you would trade it all? All the pain and suffering? Ah, but then you would have missed the beauty of the light upon this earth and the sweetness of the leaving" –Jane Siberly, Calling All Angels_

* * *

Beckett left work at 8pm, looking forward to the rest of her evening off. She had big plans that evening, which included Chinese food, one of Castle's books, a glass of red wine and a warm and inviting bubble bath.

As she drove her thoughts wandered back to the events over the last 24 hours; the kiss, their conversation during lunch, his willingness to continue to wait for her, all of it played through her mind. _God I love this man_, she thought to herself. At that very moment a song came over the radio, the gentle music she recognized as Christina Perry filling her car. She smiled at the good timing of the music as it took her back to Ryan's wedding, as she moved on the dance floor with her plus one.

_The ceremony had been beautiful and the reception was a blast. Everyone was enjoying themselves, as well as the open bar. Kate had impressed everyone with her ability to shoot Amoretto straight, as well as the mad rapping skills she was open to demonstrate due, in no small part, to her drink(s). _

_They were all on the dance floor singing along with Kenny Loggins and getting Footloose, Castle once again reminding them of six degrees of Kevin Bacon. As the music continued so did the friends, laughing and letting loose, a much needed experience following months and months of one tragedy after another. Soon the music died down and was replaced with a much slower, much softer tune. _

_Several people made their exits from the dance floor, while others found their partners and began to sway to the music. As Kate began to leave the dance floor she was stopped by a firm hand on her wrist. She turned and looked to him, knowing an offer to dance would be made. Silently she smiled and allowed herself to be pulled closer. As the piano music played she wrapped one hand around his neck, and he around her waist. With their other hands clasped, they listened to the words of the song and stared into each other's eyes. _

_**Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. **_

_**How to be brave. How can I love when I'm afraid to fall.**_

_**But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.**_

_**One step closer… **_

_**I have died everyday waiting for you. **_

_**Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. **_

_**I'll love you for a thousand more. **_

_With an intake of her breath they both make eye contact, alarmed by the significance of the song's words. He pulls her closer and she leans her head against his chest. Their arms touch as their fingers caress where their hands are joined, pressed between them. They sigh at the same time and Kate closes her eyes. They continue to take in the salient words of the song. _

_**Time stands still. Beauty in all she is. **_

_**I will be brave. **_

_**I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. **_

_**Every breath, every hour has come to this. **_

_**One step closer…**_

_**I have died every day waiting for you. **_

_**Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years. **_

_**I'll love you for a thousand more. **_

_**And all along I believed I would find you. **_

_**Time has brought your heart to me. **_

_**I have loved you for a thousand years. **_

_**I'll love you for a thousand more. **_

_As they continued to sway with the song, it spoke to both of their longing. Their mutual love, what started as a dance became more of an embrace on the dance floor. Their energy, their love, was palpable. As the song ended they separated, staring deeply into each other's eyes. Not quite willing to separate completely, their hands remained joined for a moment longer. At that moment, they both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt…it was only a matter of time._

* * *

Kate sighed to herself, lost in the thought of that night and contemplating how she could move things along with her writer. She knew he was the love of her life, and she felt closer to ready than she ever had. Now it was time for him to know it, for secrets to come out, for feelings to be expressed, and for their future to start together. She smiled to herself once again, so lost in her own musings that she didn't notice the red light ahead.

As she continued through the intersection, Kate was pulled from her reverie by a loud horn and the screech of tires. No sooner than she was able to turn to look at the oncoming truck, it slammed into her with full force. Surprise went through her. Kate felt startled, she felt a great impact. She was momentarily confused and surprised by the complete lack of pain, just pressure. No sooner had the thought entered her head, it was gone. She felt nothing. She saw nothing. Kate's world went black. In the blink of an eye, she was gone.

The driver of the truck quickly descended and ran to the car he'd hit. It was crushed and he could see that the driver had passed due to impact. Police, fire and medical help soon arrived, but there was nothing to be done for the woman in the car.

The officer noticed through her identification that she was NYPD, one of their own. They handled her broken body with care and respect as they sent her to the morgue and prepared to notify her next of kin. It was going to be a difficult night for them.

* * *

**A/N: Please remember that 1. I don't possess the ability to truly write unhappy endings, and 2. I know exactly where this is going. Trust me :-) pretty please trust me? **


	3. Chapter 3

"'_Cause there'd be no sunlight if I lose you baby. There'd be no clear skies if I lose you baby. Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same. If you walk away everyday it will rain."_

_ –Bruno Mars, It Will Rain._

* * *

A loud, sharp knock at his door woke Rick Castle from his sleep. He sat up in bed, momentarily confused. As he shook the sleep off he looked to his clock, w_hy is there someone here at 1am_? Again, the loud knocking persisted.

"Ok. Ok", he said, as he hurried to the door before everyone in the house woke up.

On the other side of the door was an unexpected sight. Both Ryan and Esposito were looking somberly at him. "Hey Castle. Can we come in?" Esposito spoke with a slight shake in his voice.

"Sure" he eyed them suspiciously as he led them into the living room and offered them something to drink.

"Can I offer you gentlemen a drink? I'd usually have something prepared, but it's 1am afterall." Castle spoke, attempting to break the obvious tension in the room. He did not like this, the sinking feeling in his stomach was beginning to feel a bit like cold, hard cement.

"Sit down", Ryan said softly.

Castle, becoming more terrified by the second, joined them on the couch. _It's Kate_, he thought. _But we don't have a case and she's not chasing her mom's killer right now, it can't be Kate_. He tried to make himself feel better, but he could read their faces and before they could speak he knew. He knew something was terribly wrong with _his_ Kate.

Castle spoke one word, looking at both men, almost in a whisper "Kate."

He could see the redness in Ryan's eyes, as tears began to fall the detective put his head down, looking at the carpet.

"There was an accident. A truck was involved and we don't have the details, but we were told that she died immediately due to impact." Esposito explained with a tremor in his voice and tears in his eyes. "She's gone Castle, she's gone."

At that moment a gasp could be heard from the stair case, and a glass shattered in the kitchen. Evidently the knocking had woken both Martha and Alexis as well. They both came to the living room, hands trembling. A sob escaped Alexis as Martha pulled her closer.

Castle, watching the four people in his living room, felt nothing. He was numb, aside from the cold feeling of shock that washed over his back, a head that felt fuzzy, and a wave of sickness that seemed to move in his stomach, the writer sat emotionless, numb.

He turned to Esposito and quietly asked, "did she suffer?" His voice broke and he could feel a tremble in his hands begin to take hold.

"No. There was no pain. Impact deaths take you before you have time to register pain. She didn't suffer."

Martha continued to hold Alexis to one side, while squeezing the silent detective Ryan on the shoulder. They all sat in a daze for quite a while.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, but may have only been minutes, Castle spoke.

"I want to see her. I want to see that it is her. I need to see her".

Ryan looked up and spoke for the first time since the news had broken, "I don't think that is a good idea Cas-".

"I NEED to see her." He stood and interrupted with a shout. "I need to see her. I need to be with her. I need to tell her. I just need…I need…please…" With balled fists and intense grief Richard Castle fell to his knees and broke down.

His mother and daughter nestled into either side of him, helped him back to the couch as he sobbed loudly, body shaking with grief. She was gone and he never got the chance to tell her again…now he never would…She was gone. His world, the love of his life, his meaning and existence seemed to go with her…he continued to sob until there was nothing left in him.

Esposito and Ryan, both red-faced from their own tears stood and looked to their friend, to Kate's partner. In silent agreement they moved closer to him.

"Come on." Esposito said softly. "We'll take you to her".

He silently moved with them. Leaving his broken-hearted family behind with a sad smile, he made his way downtown to have just one last moment with the love of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

"_Little darling, it's been a long, cold, lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun little darling. Here comes the sun, and I say…It's all right." _

_–The Beatles, Here Comes the Sun._

* * *

Kate woke with a start. She was disoriented, confused and didn't recognize her surroundings at all. She turned to her side and saw that she had been sleeping outdoors. She appeared to be in some sort of meadow. Confused, she sat up to gain a better vantage point. As she took in her surroundings she became more alarmed. She definitely hadn't gone to sleep here.

She stood up and felt a gentle breeze sweep across her face. Taking in her surroundings she noticed that the meadow she'd awakened in was a beautiful shade of vibrant green, sprinkled with flowers that offered a sweet smell to the air. To her right was a slight hill which led down to some sort of lake, a large willow tree swaying with the breeze close to the water's banks.

To her left Kate saw what looked like the back of a house, a small white cottage. She took the home in and was struck with a feeling of déjà vu. She felt as if she'd been in this place before. The sky above her was a deep blue and the sun felt warm on her face. _Wait a minute_, Kate thought to herself, _warm_? _Where the hell am I? February in New York does not equal warm. _Kate looked down at herself. Her hair hung loosely on her back, curls softly being swept up with the breeze. She was wearing a soft cotton dress, a sun dress of some form, completely white and very beautiful. She took in her bare arms, looked down to her bare feet and wondered again exactly where she was and how she'd gotten there. She placed her hand on her neck and noticed that something was very wrong. Sliding her hand down her chest she thought to herself, w_here is my mother's ring_? Her dad's watch was also gone. _What the HELL!_ Kate was becoming angry. Then she froze…her hand wandered further down her chest and over her heart and she noticed it, there was nothing, Kate Beckett's skin was smooth. She looked down to find no scar, no bullet wound. She didn't understand.

At that moment she noticed that smoke appeared to be coming from the chimney of the cottage. She walked towards the small house and contemplated where she was. Surely the person inside could give her some clue as to what was going on. As she approached the house she was hit with another feeling of déjà vu. The path, the bright and beautiful flowers, an archway to her right that seemed to lead back to some sort of garden, and there it was…a **red** door. Her breath caught, her heart sped up, _Castle's painting! I'm here, but how? _

She was startled from her thoughts by the red door, which opened. A woman stepped out and smiled warmly at her. "Hello Katie." The woman said. "I've been waiting for you sweetie." She was stunned, emotions of disbelief and pain, of hope and longing ran through her. Kate mustered up the ability to form the word and spoke "Mom?"

"Hi sweetheart." Johanna answered. Kate ran to her mother and was in her arms. She cried tears of joy and inhaled her mother's scent. "But, how? What? I don't understand. Oh I've missed you **so** much mom." She buried her face into her mother's hair, overwhelmed by her presence.

"I know baby. I've been here though, watching you and your dad, loving you all of the time." She smiled and took her daughter's face in her hands. "I'm so proud of the woman you've become Katie; of your bravery and your quest for the truth. You are all that I'd imagined you could be and even more." Kate held to her mother as she did when she was a child and her mom had been gone on a trip. Johanna rubbed her back and whispered words of comfort to her daughter. After a few moments Kate looked into her mother's eyes.

"How did you? Where did you? Am I dead mom?" Kate couldn't find the words to express her confusion.

"Yes baby. You are." Her mother replied with a soft and wistful smile on her face.

In that moment Kate remembered. "The car. I was driving. I didn't see the light!" As she recalled the events she began to trail off, left with one last word on her tongue, "Castle." She spoke more to herself than to her mother. _I died in a car accident. I'm a cop. I've survived freezing, drowning, my apartment blowing up, taking a bullet and countless other situations to die in an accident! Seriously!_

As if reading her thoughts her mother laughed, " Katie, we can't predict when our time will come or how it will. Although I must say, you certainly had enough 'experience' in your short life my dear."

Kate smiled, "it just wasn't on the top of my list of ways I would go is all." Soon her thoughts wandered back and settled on Castle.

"Mom, Rick…he won't understand." She spoke, as if pleading with her mother.

"In time he will, in time he will heal." Kate was angry.

"But we never got to…there was so much left to. Mom he'll never know how much I…"

"How much you loved him?" Kate nodded sadly, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"I promise you that one day he will." With that Johanna took her daughter and led her to the inside of the cabin. "Let's have some tea sweetheart. I have Jasmine. It was your favorite when you were younger." Kate nodded as she fondly remembered her regular chats with her mother over a hot cup of tea.

The cabin was warm and cozy on the inside. The living room had two love seats, sitting on both sides of a beautiful fire place. Above the fireplace was a painting of what appeared to be the lake outside. Soft curtains adorned the windows, giving the room a natural glow from the outdoors. The wooden floor was covered with a soft, plush throw rug that ran between the love seats. Calming earth tones were featured throughout the space, and the air was filled with the sweet smell of cinnamon and baking bread. It smelled wonderful, like home, like childhood when her mother would bake on the weekends.

A stereo sat against the wall leading towards the kitchen. Kate smiled to herself "Really, we have music in heaven?" She laughed at the oddity of the stereo, which looked a bit old fashioned. Her mother replied "This isn't heaven sweetie, and we have music because you wanted it." Kate looked after her mother, confusion wrinkling her brow as she walked into the kitchen.

The Kitchen was also warm and cozy, soft yellow on the walls and a wooden island in the center of the room. The windows had soft blue curtains, making this room decidedly brighter than the last. Kate saw a tea kettle warming on the old stove.

They continued the tour to a beautiful back porch that overlooked the garden. _So it was a garden behind the arch_, Kate thought to herself. Comfortable chairs were out there as well, surrounding an antique-looking table. Next, they entered the bathroom. A beautiful bathtub was in the center, bigger than the one she'd had in her own apartment, with candles adorning the room completely.

Their last stop was a very comfortable-looking bedroom, with a soft and comfortable bed in the center of the room. Once again, this room had a very antique feeling to it, as if they were in a country-themed bed and breakfast. Kate felt at home here and she smiled to herself, feeling the soft texture of the pale blue down comforter. She hadn't noticed her mother was not behind her until she heard her voice calling to her.

"Katie, tea is ready in the living room dear."

Kate smiled to herself as she made her way back to the main room. A soft fire crackled in the fireplace and added a cozy feeling to the atmosphere. "I can't believe I'm here, sipping tea with my mother." Kate felt truly happy, content. Johanna smiled at her daughter and waited for what she knew would come next, and soon it did.

With a furrowed brow Kate looked to her mother, "Mom. You said that this wasn't heaven, but I'm dead. If we're not in heaven, and I can't imagine that this is hell, then where are we?"

"We're in the in-between Katie. We're not on earth, but we've not moved on to heaven yet. We all move on when we're ready to."

Kate took in this piece of information, "Where is everyone else?" she asked.

"Well, some are here, in their own places, their creations, others decided to move on." Kate nodded at her mother's explanation, but then paused. "Is this your creation mom?" Johanna smiled softly at Kate. "No sweetheart, this is your creation."

"But how?" Kate questioned.

"Well, we create our own 'universe', a place where we loved, or a place where we felt loved maybe. A place that is safe. This must have been a safe place for you Katie."

Kate smiled. _Castle. _Her heart ached a little bit again. "It wasn't a place mom, it was a painting." I saw it on Castle's wall the night that we-" Kate stopped and blushed, bringing her fingers to her lips in memory.

"The night you kissed?" Johanna smiled and lovingly, albeit mischievously, as she spoke to her daughter.

"Yes mom." Kate went on to explain "The painting, Alexis called it Green Gables. I remember how warm and safe I felt while I was looking at it. I felt home, and he was right by my side."

"Green Gables, huh? You loved those books when you were a little girl; and I'm especially fond of that Alexis by the way."

"You know Alexis? But how?"

"I've been watching over you Katie; over you and your father. I know the people in your life. I'm so grateful for the family you've created, for the support they've given you." Her mother took and squeezed her hand, "and I'm proud of your bravery."

"Bravery? How is it bravery when I had no choice? It was part of the job, and I never found your killer. I never brought him to justice mom." Her voice broke a little.

"You are indeed brave. Not because of chasing criminals, or staring death in the face. You aren't brave just because you brought justice for so many Katie. You're brave because you made the decision to take a chance again. To bring down that wall and let love in, to let _him_ in; and as for my killer, justice will be done Kate. I'm not concerned about that at all. You make me proud of the chances you were willing to take to make your life what you wanted it to be."

Kate began to sob, sinking her head into her hands. "I never told him the truth. He never knew that I heard him. I was a coward and now I'll never get to tell him that I loved him. We never got the chance to live our lives together mom. It isn't fair. I just want to see him again, so badly. I want to see his face just one more time."

At this Johanna stood and reached for her daughter's hand. "Come with me Katie. I have something to show you." Kate looked up and took it. She stood with a quizzical look on her face and allowed her mother to lead her out of the cabin.

Down they walked, back into the meadow where Kate had awoken earlier. The air was filled with the same sweet smell and the same soft breeze. The sun dipped lower in the sky though, nearing dusk. "So the sun still rises and sets here", Kate spoke. "That's because you want it to," Her mother replied. Together they walked across the wild flowers and the green grass, towards the giant willow tree and the calm lake. As they descended down the hill and grew closer to the water Kate noticed that it was the most beautiful crystal blue she'd ever seen. The sun seemed to reflect off of the serene top as she looked out, watching a variety of trees, colored in fall hues. _The trees look like autumn, but the flowers like spring…interesting, _she thought to herself_._ She noticed a bridge off to the left, although she could not see deep enough into the woods to see where the bridge led.

"Kate. Over here." Her mom motioned for her daughter to join her at the edge of the water.

When she approached her mom's side Johanna took her hand. "Close your eyes love, and think of him." Kate closed her eyes as her mother gave her instructions, "concentrate on him and let your feelings for him flow." Kate focused on his smile, his laugh, the way his warm hand descended to the small of her back, those blue eyes that seemed to search her soul. "Ok Kate. Open your eyes." When she did she was speechless, in the blue water she could see him. She could hear him.

"Is this real mom?"

"Yes it is."

"Is this how you looked after me?"

"It's close Kate."

With her mother's answer Kate dropped to her knees, she leaned out over the edge and looked into the water. She looked onto the man she loved more than life itself. As she sat by the water, she watched a scene unfold before her as if she were watching it on television.


	5. Chapter 5

"_I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I'm here without you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams; and tonight it's only you and me." -3 Doors Down, Here Without You_

* * *

Richard Castle sat numbly in the pew; next to him were Alexis and Martha. Jim Beckett sat on his other side, hands folded calmly in his lap, his face grief-stricken and his eyes closed as if in prayer. Castle was overwhelmed by the number of people who showed up at her funeral. He shouldn't have been surprised though, considering the number of lives she's saved and the number of families she'd brought justice to. He was honored to sit in the front row with Jim, a true sign that their families were actually united. He vowed to look after her father for her, to keep him sober and to offer his support in any way possible.

Directly behind him sat their colleagues, Captain Gates made eye contact with the writer and smiled softly in sympathy and understanding. To her, Detective Kate Beckett was a life cut short, before she could reach her full potential. However, she knew that to Rick Castle she was much more than this. One only had to spend a few minutes in the same room with them to witness their connection. Her heart was broken for the man in front of her.

On the other side Rick saw Ryan, Jenny, Lanie and Esposito. He noted that Havi was holding Lanie to him, kissing her tears away. _At least something good came from all of this_, he thought to himself as he watched his two friends who had obviously gotten back together.

He brought his attention back to the pastor who was speaking about _his_ Kate. He spoke about her bravery and her courage, about her kindness and her heart. With each passing minute Castle knew that the Kate-shaped hole in his heart would never heal. When it came time for him to speak he stood and approached the podium calmly. He was thankful that the funeral was closed casket.

He had seen his Kate. The night when his world stopped the boys had taken him to her. She'd been cleaned, but the damage was still evident. He was thankful she was in one piece. When he touched her he broke, begging her to come back to him somehow, to not leave him. He spoke of his love for her and of the life he wanted to live with her. He told her about the dog they would adopt and the babies that they would have together. He spoke of their wedding day and all of the anniversaries that would follow. All of his begging and pleading had made no difference. She was gone, gone from his life and from his side. He knew that he was done with love, as his heart would belong to no other.

Rick cleared his throat and began to speak. He spoke of the day he'd met her. Of the qualities that drew him to her. He spoke of his muse, turned partner, turned friend, turned love of his life. Funny stories of stakeouts, witty comments about caffeine addictions, and somber statements about her quest for truth. His words brought both laughter and tears to the attendees of her funeral.

Before he sat down he spoke softly, three words meant for her and lost on anyone else "Always Kate. Always".

* * *

From the other side Kate touched her finger to the water, tears on her face. She simply replied to his promise, with one in kind "Always Rick."


	6. Chapter 6

"_As I lay me down to sleep, yes I pray that you will hold me dear. Though I'm far away, I'll whisper your name into the sky. And I will wake up happy"_

_-As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins._

* * *

For days on end Kate could be found at that lake watching over her loved ones. She'd watch over Rick, Alexis from time to time, her boys and Lanie. She was happy to learn that something good had come from her death. Apparently, it had brought Lanie and Javi back together.

One evening, Kate was watching Ryan and Jenny. She began to look upon them and was surprised to find that Jenny's belly was swollen. "She's having a baby! How wonderful Ryan, you'll be such a great dad," she tearfully spoke.

On another occasion her thoughts were drawn to Alexis. She found her in a dorm room, trying to drown out the loud music coming from next door while studying for what appeared to be biology or maybe a physiology class. Kate laughed a bit at the stressed young woman before her and was glad to see that some things had not changed.

On a sunny afternoon while laying in the grass below the great willow tree, her white dress blowing gently in the wind, Kate witnessed a conversation between Martha and Rick. "Richard it's been months. I know you miss her, but you've got to move on. I'm not asking you to date again. I'm not even asking you to write again, but I am asking you to go out with the detectives the next time they invite you. They miss you Richard." He sighed and nodded to his mother. "It would be nice to see them, and I'm glad you don't expect me to date mother. She was the love of my life." Martha sighed, but didn't argue with her son. Kate also sighed sadly, wishing she could take away his pain. Wishing they could be together. However, her attention was soon drawn away from the water and towards something on the side of the tree that caught her eye. _My guitar_! _Where did it come from?_ Kate happily picked up the instrument and began to strum out familiar chords.

On one evening in particular, after watching Rick and Alexis having lunch at Yale, she felt her mother's hand on her shoulder. She hadn't heard her approaching because she was absent-mindedly playing a tune that sounded very similar to the song she and Rick had danced to and Ryan's wedding.

" Katie, why don't you come inside with me, or to the meadow. Do you remember how much you used to love star-gazing when we visited your grandparent's house in the country?" The Stars were indeed more beautiful than anything she'd experienced before. They were much closer and brighter, when meteors shot across the sky she could see the debris on their tails. It was breathtaking.

"Come on Katie. Let's go, her mom motioned at her to follow." She was torn. She looked back to the lake, not wanting to break her contact to the other side. She also wanted to spend time with her mother, finally she stood. With a sigh she turned back to the water, pressing a kiss to her lips and pointing her hand towards his image. With that, she turned to follow after her mother.

There they watched, they talked and Kate played until late in the night, recounting their last dance to her mother with a wistful smile on her face. As the evening progressed Kate curled into her mother and eventually fell asleep. When she awakened the sun was rising and her mother was right beside her, watching with a soft smile on her face. Kate stretched and yawned before asking "Why do I need sleep here. If I am dead, why can I feel my pulse, why do I breathe and why do I get hungry?"

Johanna replied, "Why do you look like you do?" Kate thought for a moment. "Because this is what I looked like when I was alive."

"That's right. It is not uncommon for us to cling to the things we know, the things we're used to. Familiar feelings like hunger and sleepiness, familiar smells, sounds and tastes, they all serve to comfort us as long as we need them. It eases the transition a bit."

"So" Kate continued "I don't really need any of these things. I feel them because on some level I want to?" Her mother nodded to her and they once again fell into comfortable silence.

"Mom" Kate gently and somewhat hesitantly asked "why have you not moved on yet?"

"Because Katie, I'm waiting for my soul mate to join me." She answered with a soft smile on her face.

Kate was taken aback, "Soul mates really exist?"

With the same soft smile her mom replied "You spend days on end at that lake Kate, watching over him. I think you know the answer to that, don't you?" She smiled at her mother's words.

"You and dad" Kate stated, "you've been waiting for him to join you" Her mom nodded.

Kate was filled with hope, "So I can wait here. I can wait for Rick to join me one day." Without waiting for a reply Kate stood up, returned to the lake and filled her thoughts with Castle. Soon she saw him, although things looked very different than they did last night. He had facial hair and looked very unkempt.

"Mom" she called to the woman who had joined her at the lake, "how much time has passed?"

"Time works differently here Kate. Our days are not like days there." Kate nodded, it wasn't really an answer, but she returned her attention to Rick.

* * *

Richard Castle was alone. He sat at his desk, rarely coming out of his office these days. He tried to be social, he tried to spend more time with the boys, but it's all too painful. He avoided the precinct now, and had broken his contract with Black Pawn. He can't write anymore and has no desire to do so. His muse is gone. She's been dead for nearly a year and he has locked himself into a world of darkness. Alexis spends her semesters at Yale and he's grateful that she doesn't have to see him like this. He knows his mom is worried, she thinks he's been drinking too much. He cynically laughs at the thought, _Martha Rodgers telling someone else they have a drinking problem_. He stands up from behind his desk, stretching his arms while grabbing his remote and flips on the electronic murder board.

Since her death the only thing that Castle finds purpose in is searching for Kate's mom's killer. If he can bring justice for her mother it will redeem him from feeling like such a coward, for wasting opportunities to be with her when he had her with him. He stares at the information. He'd begun pursuing the mystery man from the phone, from the garage; Calling him, demanding another meeting. Despite warnings he continued to push, to discover and to learn. He was closer than ever before.

* * *

She saw the board. "Castle… What are you doing?" Kate yelled to him as if he could hear her. "When did you do all of this? How long have you been chasing this? Stop it Castle or they will kill you!" Stunned by his murder board, she continued to scream at his image.

Kate jumped to her feet. "Mom I need to see him. I need to find a way to be with him. If only for a minute. He needs to know I'm ok. He needs to know to back off. I want him with me, but not like this." Kate's panic was evident in her voice, "is there any way to do this mom? There has to be a way." Johanna hesitated just long enough to confirm Kate's suspicions. "How do I do it mom? How can I see him. I need to speak with him."

"Kate he will not be able to hear you. He might be able to feel you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he will know to stop."

"Mom I've got to try. I need to get through to him. He has his mom, Alexis, he can't leave them yet."

"Across the bridge", she motioned to the left and Kate once again looked to the bridge she'd seen the first time she took in the lake, the one that led into the woods. "Follow the path. There is a waterfall there. The inside offers us a doorway, so to speak." Without waiting for further instruction Kate ran towards the bridge as her mom called after her. "Kate you can't stay long and whatever you do, don't touch him!"

Out of breath, she approached the waterfall. It was incredible, the sound of rushing water filled her ears and the water fell from a very high and magnificent cliff. As Kate came around to the back of the waterfall she saw a small cave, she entered and faced the water, now with a loud rumbling echo from behind. Again, she closed her eyes focused on Rick.

Like before, his image became clear in the water, only now she could reach out and touch it. As she did she stepped forward slowly into a doorway in the water.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Don't be afraid, oh my love. I'll be watching you from above, and I'd give all the world tonight to be with you. 'Cause I'm on your side and I still care. I may have died, but I've gone nowhere. Just think of me and I'll be there." –I'll be there, The Escape Club_

* * *

Kate found herself in the loft. She was looking once again at Richard Castle. When she saw him in the water he had a full beard. Now he did not. Again she wondered how much time had passed on earth. Her heart ached and tears ran down her face. She could smell him. _I've missed that smell so much, _she thought as she approached his silent form. He was seated on the couch, a glass of scotch in his hand. His breathing steady, he stared off into space, his mind obviously far away.

Kate moved to sit beside him and began to speak to him. "Rick, you've got to stop. You've got to stop looking for these people. Don't leave Alexis without a dad. Don't leave your mom, look after my dad. Rick please." She begged him, sobs escaping her. "There is so much that I should have told you, so much that you don't know. I loved you Rick, with all my heart. I dreamed of you at night, woke to wish you were beside me. I dreamed of what it would be like to spend our lives together. Of what it would feel like to make love to you. Rick please hear me." She continued to cry to him, cradling her head in her hands on the couch next to him.

Then she heard it, barely a whisper, but she heard him. "Kate?"

Her head shot up at him and she cried out. "Yes Rick. It is me! You can hear me! Rick I'm here. I'm with you. Rick I love you." He didn't reply. "Rick?" still no sign that he'd heard her. _But he knows I'm here!_ She inched closer to him and reached for him, "Rick I'm here and nobody is going to separate us again. I'll be with you Rick, I'll be right here." Her hand gently touched his shoulder.

The scream he let out when she touched him was more of a howl than a scream. As if he were in an incredible amount of pain, not physical but a much deeper pain. He hurled his glass of scotch across the room and watched it shatter against the wall before grabbing his own hair and rocking himself back and forth, crying out hysterically. Kate stood up and backed away from him, finally understanding now what her prolonged presence would do to him. "Goodbye my love." She whispered, tears rolling down her face, before closing her eyes and willing herself away from him.

* * *

She walked back into the cabin, tears still in her eyes. "I touched him mom" she quietly admitted. "I caused him so much pain. I hurt him mom."

She wasn't surprised. "Sometimes the living can sense us around them, but when we touch them our presence becomes overwhelming. Their emotional pain can overcome them sweetheart."

"I can't speak to him and I can't stop him mom."

"He makes his own decisions. It is always hard in the beginning." Her mother continued to explain "It gets easier and life goes on for them." He will get through it, just like you did and just like your dad did when you lost me. Kate pulled her mom into a hug and held on to her for a while. "It's been so long over there mom, it's been at least a year and he's still in so much pain."

"Kate. I know you want to watch over him, but this isn't good for you ether sweetheart. Now, I've got something to show you if you will come with me." Kate hesitated, "I promise you can come back here to watch over him, but there is still so much for you to see and experience Katie, " with that she nodded and took her mother's hands.


	8. Chapter 8

"_Ouch. I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found. Yeah, I think that I might break. Lost myself again and I feel unsafe" –Breathe Me, Sia_

* * *

The first thing Kate noticed was that the temperature dropped. When her eyes opened she saw that she was no longer in her meadow, but in a snow-filled wonderland. In front of her was a frozen pond, with several people skating.

Behind her was a cabin, old and rustic looking, she noted to herself that it looked just like her grandparent's house. "Mom, this looks like the house you grew up in!" Her mother nodded to her and knowingly smiled. "This is your safe place." Kate concluded.

"Mom, who are those people?"

"Why don't we go down and have a closer look Kate." As they approached the frozen pond her mother led her to a bench. Underneath it was a pair of skates. Kate noted that they looked just like the pair she had when she was a teenager, down to the neon laces, and they were a perfect fit. Also there was a fleece sweater for her. As she put her skates on she watched the other skaters, unable to make out anyone's face.

"Come on Katie." Her mother took her hand and led her to the ice. Once on it she began to adjust to being back on the ice, starting out slowly but soon gaining speed. She reveled in the feel of the wind against her face and the smell of the ice. _There's nothing like the smell of the ice_, she thought to herself.

"Now surely you can skate faster than that kid!"

She recognized the voice behind her, but was still shocked to find him directly behind her. "Royce!" She skated in his direction, where they met in the middle and embraced. "It's good to see you again kid. Even if it is sooner than we'd have thought."

"Royce I caught the guy that killed you…I got him."

"You did good, but that's in the past now. Now we look forward. When I got word that you were here, well I had to come to see you!" They spent a good portion of the afternoon on the ice, catching up on old times and mending old wounds. She was relieved to know that her friend and mentor was in such a great place. They talked about his letter for a bit, about her regret in not telling Castle sooner, that he was right that there was something real between them. Royce, like her mother, assured her that she would be with him again soon enough.

Kate looked around for her mom and smiled when she saw her sitting at a table by the ice, holding a hot beverage and speaking with someone. As Kate came in closer, she gained speed on her skates, her heart picked up speed as she saw him more clearly. "It's you!" she cried out to her captain. "Roy!" Another long and warm embrace and Kate joined them for hot chocolate.

"I've been watching over you Beckett. You and that writer of yours. I have one question for you", he asked seriously. "Yes sir?" she asked, a little perplexed by her own need to use the formal title in the afterlife. He looked her straight in the eye and said "A TIGER? Really, a damn Tiger!" He laughed loudly and was soon joined by both Kate and her mother. Johanna squeezed her daughters arm and stood up.

"Kate, I've got somewhere to be, but I will be back soon." With that her mom departed. Kate remained at the table, enjoying her conversation with her Captain once again. "When I crossed over Kate, do you know who met me?" Kate shook her head. "It was your mother." Her eyes grew wide with the news.

"I can't tell you the absolution I received in her forgiveness. In her gratitude for my protecting you while I could. She's incredible Kate."

"Yes. She is." Kate smiled that someone from her life after her mom's death could finally know how wonderful of a woman she was. They spent several hours together, walking around the pond. Kate was very interested to note that despite the ice and snow, she remained comfortable. As the evening set in she saw her mother coming toward her again.

"Katie, sweetheart. We have to go". Kate looked at her mother and felt uneasy. "Has something happened mom?" Johanna nodded. Montgomery gave a somber, knowing smile and nodded to the women. With a quick hug and a promise to get together again soon, he let them be on their way. Taking her daughter's hands and squeezing them, in an instant Kate was back at her cottage.

They walked around to the back porch and sat down. "Katie, I'm about to tell you something and it is going to be difficult for you to hear. I will be here with you through this though." Kate stared at her mother.

"Rick."

"He's dead Kate."

"He's what? How?" Kate shook her head in disbelief.

"Kate he went after my killer and they had him shot." Kate sat in shock for a minute. The air left her lungs and she felt sick. They shot him. He was dead and it was because of her…because she couldn't stop him from chasing after her demons. It was senseless. Tears rolled down Kate's face.

Then it hit her,

"Wait, mom if he's dead then where is he? If he died we can be together. Mom, where is he?"

"Kate, he is here but-"

"Then I need to see him mom" Kate interrupted her.

"Kate you need to understand, Richard left the world in a violent way. He was murdered. It makes the cross over much more difficult."

"Difficult how?"

"Kate, he doesn't know that he is dead. He hasn't accepted it yet. Until he does he will not recognize you. He won't know who you are sweetheart. Trust me Katie; it may be awhile before he accepts it-if ever. I know Kate because I've been there too."

Kate stared at her mother in disbelief, "but you acknowledged yourself that we were soulmates mom. Surely that means he would know me! Mom I've got to try to bring him back to me." In her desperation Kate continued, "You experienced this too…How were you pulled from it mom?"

"A childhood friend came to be with me, and even though I didn't know who she was, she sat with me and stayed with me until I was able to remember."

"Mom, I'm his soul mate, he will know who I am! I know he will. Where is he?" Before Johanna could answer Kate jumped to her feet and began to run towards the lake, as if she would be able to find him there now.

Through the meadow she ran, towards the top of the hill overlooking the lake and the willow tree. As she reached the top and started to descend she was stopped dead in her tracks. There he was, standing in front of the lake and looking out quietly. Richard Castle was with her once again. Kate took a deep breath, readied herself and made her way down the hill and toward him.


	9. Chapter 9

"_And when we meet, which I'm sure we will. All that was then will be there still. I'll let it pass and hold my tongue, and you will think that I've moved on..."- White Flag, Dido_

* * *

Kate stepped behind him and quietly, slightly shaking, reached for him "Rick?"

Richard turned around and took the beautiful woman in, there was confusion all over his face. "Ma'am, have you seen a young girl around?"

"Excuse me?" Kate questioned him, tears building in her eyes.

"Yes. My daughter, we were camping and I can't find her anywhere. She's usually so responsible, she never leaves without telling me where she's going and when she'll be back." He looked into Kate's face, hopeful that maybe she'd seen his lost daughter.

"I would call her, but I can't seem to find my cell phone." Kate smiled and touched his arm. He looked at her with slight confusion, but politeness nevertheless. "Her name is Alexis. She's got red hair, she's tall and she's 17."

"No" Kate replied sadly. "I'm sorry I haven't seen her. I can help you look though." Relief washed over his face. "Thank you so much. I'm Rick, by the way." He held his hand out to her.

She tried to hold back a sob as she took his hand, relishing in the touch of his hand but needing so much more. Her voice was thin and shaky, but she tried her best to mask it "I'm Kate, and I'm so glad to meet you Rick."

He turned from her and looked out over the lake again. "I don't want to leave this place because it was the last place I saw her." He slid his hands into his pockets, "I figure that if she comes back this will be the first place she looks."

"That seems smart" Kate encouraged him. I'll wait here with you. She sat and leaned back against the willow tree, motioning for him to join her. She watched him come closer and take a seat next to her.

"So, Kate. How long have you lived here?"

"For a little while" Kate replied.

"It is beautiful. It reminds me of something, but I can't put my finger on it. Sort of like déjà vu. It is familiar"

"I know exactly what you mean." Kate smiled to herself and thought once again of his painting.

"Are you up here alone?"

"My mother is visiting. It has been awhile since we've seen each other, so we're catching up".

"That's nice" Rick remarked. They sat in silence as the breeze swept by.

Kate reached behind the tree for the guitar that she'd left there. She began to play softly. Rick smiled at her for a moment as he listened "You play beautifully Kate. Alexis plays the violin and she's pretty good too." She smiled sadly at him, unsure of how to bring him out of his state of confusion.

"So" she asked while picking at random chords and playing pieces of various tunes, "Are you married?"

He laughed a bit to himself. "No, I'm not married, but I've been married twice."

"Oh" she said, smiling to herself as she thought of the torments that were his ex-wives. "Are you seeing anyone now?"

He sadly smiled and looked over the water. "No. I found the right one. I found her, but I waited too long and before I could show her how much I cared…how much I loved her…she died." Kate squeezed his hand softly and offered him some comfort "I lost the love of my life as well. A car accident separated us." He continued to look over the water, with a confused and saddened look on his face.

"Not a day goes by where I don't think of him. There is so much I didn't tell him", she continued to speak. " I was keeping a secret from him. He loved me and I knew it, but I didn't tell him I did. Even worse, I didn't tell him that I loved him as much as he loved me. I wanted to be with him. To marry him and to have his babies." Tears streamed down her face now, but she kept talking, telling him everything she'd wanted to for such a long time.

"Rick. We lost our chance because I was too much of a coward. I couldn't open up and take the risk. I never got the chance and now I've missed out. I miss you. I miss your smell and I miss the feel of your arms when you wrap them around me. I miss your kiss and the way you stole my breath with each one. I should have stayed that night. I should have taken the risk and stayed with you." Her voice broke and she just cried. He never turned around. Instead he whispered "I really need to find Alexis. Why would she have run off? This just isn't like her."

Kate sadly looked at him, she kissed the back of the hand she held and let him go. She stood up and began to make her way toward the hill. "I hope you find what you're looking for Rick." He didn't turn around as she walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

"_and all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." -A Thousand Years, Christina Perri_

* * *

Kate silently begins to make her way back up the hill, wiping the tears from her eyes and willing the hopeless ache from her chest. She reaches the top and turns to sit again, under the stars. She's far enough away from him to let her emotions out without being heard, but close enough to watch him and be sure he doesn't leave. Surely they're meant to be together. After all, Kate reasoned to herself, he is here in this place, which was my creation. She speaks softly to herself and to the lost and confused man standing alone by the water, "I'm not walking away this time. I made that mistake once and I won't leave your side again." Kate lay on her back and looked to the stars again, lost in her memories of them, of their last dance and the moment they silently acknowledged they were so much more than friends and partners. She began to hum their song again. In an instant Kate sat up, _our song,_ _what if he remembers our song? I've been playing it on that guitar for such a long time now…it's worth a try, right?_ She thought hopefully to herself.

A few seconds later and Kate is making her way back down the hill, back to the willow tree. She doesn't disturb him as he stares out over the water. Instead she goes straight for her guitar, picks it up and begins to strum softly. As she picks up the pace of her tune slightly she begins to sing.

_Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. _

_How to be brave. How can I love when I'm afraid to fall._

_But watching you stand alone. All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow._

_One step closer. _

She plays and sings softly, her eyes not wavering from his silent figure. She sees him take in a deep breath, and slowly exhale. A slight turn of his head to acknowledge her presence and her music. Kate continues:

_I have died everyday waiting for you. _

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. _

_I'll love you for a thousand more. _

He's turning around now. Looking fully at her, yet avoiding eye contact. There appears to be some recognition in his eyes as he listens to her song. She steels herself and continues to play, even under his intense gaze. He slowly walks closer to her. Despite the slight shake in her voice she continues

_Time stands still. Beauty in all she is. _

_I will be brave. _

He moves to stand in front of her and she forces herself to look into his eyes, now boring into her.

_I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. _

_Every breath, every hour has come to this. _

_One step closer_

She wills herself to keep her gaze locked on his own. To somehow convey the next words of the song with all of her heart. She's got his attention, _Please Rick_, she thinks to herself, _Please hear me, Come back to me._ She continues her song, their song.

_I have died every day waiting for you. _

_Darling don't be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years. _

_I'll love you for a thousand more. _

_And all along I believed I would find you. _

_Time has brought your heart to me. _

_I have loved you for a thousand years. _

_I'll love you for a thousand more. _

As she strums the remaining chords of the song she sees the tears in his eyes, they have gathered and are running down his face. She wants nothing more than to wipe them away, but is still unsure. She places her guitar against the willow tree, refusing to break eye-contact with him. Softly, pleadingly she calls to him, "Rick?"

He continues to stare at her, as if in disbelief, he starts to talk but stops himself. Once again he opens his mouth to speak. "Ka…Beck…Beckett?"

She lets out a loud sob, her last name never sounded as sweet as it did at that moment. She nods to him and opens her arms. He is on her in an instant, pulling her off of her feet, spinning her around, squeezing her with all the strength he possesses and she doesn't care. He's here. He's with her, he knows her and they're together. She inhales him deeply, taking in the scent of him. Her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck and her hands are snaked up through his hair. Both are laughing and crying in the very same moment.

They sink to the ground beneath the willow tree together. He pulls her to him and she settles her back into him, his arms wrapping around her waist and his face buried in her hair and her shoulder blade. For a few minutes they take each other in with each of their senses. Hands caress, eyes gaze lovingly, they kisses are dropped on necks and in hair and on hands, scents are taken in and the sweet sound of laughter can be heard from both of them. Kate shifts her head, turning to the side to look him in the eyes. He gazes lovingly down at her and kisses her forehead, ghosts kisses over her eyelashes and kisses the tip of her nose. Finally he speaks "I missed you Kate."

She laughs tearfully and replies, "I missed you too. More than you know."

At that moment Kate can hear voices calling her from the cabin. With a smile, she takes Castle's hand. "Come with me Rick. There is someone I want you to meet!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for reviewing. I am glad that people are impressed with my mad updating skills, honestly-I write most stories before I start to post so that I don't fall behind. Call it a habit from too many years of schooling. I do hope you enjoy the story. Just a few more chapters, but I'm excited to know what you all think about what comes next for these guys. Happy Saturday to all of you on the interwebs :) **

* * *

"_Beauty I'd always missed, with these eyes before. Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore. 'Cause I love you. Yes I love you, oh how I love you."-Tina Arena, Nights in White Satin (Moody Blues original)_

* * *

Hand in hand, they make their way up the hill and through the meadow. Her hand never leaves his as they enter into the small cottage. Richard Castle is struck by the warmth and the intimacy that the small home provides. Caught between complete and utter disbelief over what has happened, and unmitigated joy over being able to see and touch Kate again, he raises his head towards the sound of voices.

Kate leads them into the kitchen where she stops, smiling warmly from him to another woman that is standing across the room. She looks strikingly like the woman beside him, but different. _She looks familiar, almost like, _and that's when it hits him. It all hits him. "Wait a minute, but you're-" he motions to the woman who clearly must be Johanna Beckett, only to turn towards Kate again, full reality setting in "and you're-" he isn't able to finish his thought.

He's hit with an overwhelming amount of information all at once, he sees it all as if he were watching images flash across a movie screen, the meeting in the abandoned warehouse, the threats and the shot. "Oh my God." He simply states to himself, the two women in the room with him simply wait for his brain to catch up. He turns to Kate and simply says, "Am I?" again, not finishing his sentence. Kate nods somewhat sadly, mournful for yet another life cut short, but incredibly peaceful to have him with her again. "Yes Rick. You've died." He moves to grasp the counter, needing the support to hold him up for a moment. He looks up again, as the older woman moves to stand beside him and speaks "When the reality of what has happened sets in it can take a while to adjust. It's ok Richard." He simply stares at her, moving his hand out to touch her shoulder, as if confirming to himself that she was real. When he finally does speak his words cause Kate to gasp out loud, the noise sounding somewhat like a mix between a sob and a laugh.

"Well. Um, it's nice to meet you?" He says, as if he's not sure on the social norms for introductions amongst dead people.

"She simply laughs, squeezing his hand. It's nice to meet you too. I've been watching over you for awhile." Castle looks somewhat surprised at the woman's words, and she elaborates on her statement.

"I have a great amount of interest in the man whose made my daughter so very happy. The man who made her last years on earth so worthwhile." She smiled warmly to him and, after giving his hand another squeeze, moves towards the stove. Kate moves beside Rick and wraps her arms around his waist. The two embrace silently in the kitchen, again glad to be together, as they watch Johanna Beckett preparing some sort of amazing-smelling stew. Rick, who was lost in the moment and the savory smells, is met with more thoughts of confusion. Finally, he speaks again

"Wait a minute. We eat?" Both women smile at him, preparing for the onslaught of questions that Kate is very familiar with.

They sat through dinner and Johanna did her best to answer all of Castle's questions, centrally focusing on where they were, what this place was, why they had physical needs, when they would move on and what would come next, and many other questions filled with just enough randomness to be befitting of the name of _Castle_. Not surprising at all to Kate was that most of Rick's thoughts and concerns centered on Alexis, on his mother and on his loved one's back home.

Johanna did her best to ease his sorrow over leaving his daughter so young, and Kate promised to show him something special (the ability to watch over her), in the morning. As the night wore on, Johanna expressed her desire to return to her 'home,' as she called it. She'd made a promise to Rick and Kate that they would be able to come and visit her whenever they wished. The mother and daughter embraced, knowing that they would see eachother soon. Before Johanna left, she stopped to Castle and placed a kiss on his cheek, "give it all sometime Richard, it is quite an adjustment for all of us." With those words she made her exit.

* * *

Castle and Beckett remained in the living room for awhile longer, enjoying the warm glow of the fireplace as the shadows cast by the flames provided the only ambient light to the room. She nestled into him on the couch, enjoying the feel of his fingertips, which lightly caressed her neck and shoulders. Captivated by the movement of the flames and the crackling of the fire as it continued to burn, Kate spoke.

"Sometimes I like to just sit here and think, of all the things I did in my life." Kate paused before she added softly "and of all the things I never did." There was wistfulness in her voice that broke Castle's heart a little bit.

"I think I had a good life." He smiled as he thought of all of the experiences he'd had. Smiled as he thought of Alexis, "it's sad that it ended so soon, but I lived a lot. I experienced a lot." His fingers moved to graze her arms as he turned his head, shifting his lips to graze her ear. "There are some things that I wish I would have done while I had the chance though." His voice sent a tremor through Kate, who felt her body respond to him. It was a sweet sensation that she'd not experienced in quite some time. Kate wasn't really sure why she was surprised that she'd responded to him with desire, afterall this was a physical need like any other. She figured that, on some level, both of them wanted to take the time to experience eachother, to share what they'd not been able to share while they were alive.

Kate shifted herself away from him to stand; she moved across the room and turned the old stereo on. She smiled to herself knowingly as a song began to play softly. She shouldn't have been surprised that the music was perfect for the moment; afterall this was all created by her, even if she wasn't consciously aware of it. As the familiar tune began to play, she moved towards him once again. Standing in front of him she extended her arm. "Dance with me." She spoke softly.

He took her hand and rose to meet her, wrapping her in his embrace in the small cottage, they moved to the soft music in the glow of the firelight.

_oh, my love. My darling. I've hungered for your touch alone. Lonely time. _

_And time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. _

_Are you still mine? _

_I need your love. I need your love. God speed your love to me. _

As they moved together, he lowered his forehead to hers, breathing her scent in. Both became lost in eachother's presence, their contact a soothing balm for the ache that had filled them both for so long. He ran his hands through her hair, taking in her scent once again.

Lo_nely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea._

_To the open arms of the sea. _

_Lonely rivers sigh, wait for me wait for me. _

_I'll be coming home. Wait for me. _

He began to ghost kisses down her cheeks and along her jaws, as she wound both arms around him, hands fisting the material of his shirt as she pulled him closer to her. Her face moved into his neck, to inhale as much of him as possible while placing kisses along his neck and onto his collarbone.

_Oh my love my darling. I've hungered for your touch, alone. _

_Lonely time. And time goes by…so slowly. And time can do so much._

_Are you still mine? _

Their lips met softly but passionately, mouths opening to deepen their contact as much as possible. His hands moved from her hair her down to her dress, where his hands bunched the material in a desperate need to be closer to her. She moved her head back to meet his eyes, the certainty in them mirroring her own. Without words spoken between them she simply raised both arms above her head, giving him silent permission to do what they both desperately wanted, needed.

_I need your love. I need your love. _

With one swift motion he pulled the dress over her head and discarded it to the floor, pulling her back to him and pressing his mouth to hers once again. Before he could pull her completely to his chest she stopped him, lifting her arms to his own shirt, and swiftly undoing the buttons. Their eyes never left eachother as she pulled the material out of his pants and over his shoulders, tossing it to meet her dress on the floor.

In the next moment she was lifted fully into his embrace, arms wrapped around his shoulders and legs around his waist. Their bare chests touching for the first time, he caressed her back with his hands as he held her close to him. The sweetness of their kisses filled them both with a new ache, one that could only be soothed in a union of their bodies and souls.

_God Speed your love to me._

As the music died down, he walked them closer to the fire where, in a tangle of hands and lips, he sunk both to their knees. Never breaking contact, they quickly removed the rest of their clothing. There, in front of the soft warm glow of the fire, as he stretched himself across her; as she encircled him, arms and legs, they became one.

Music softly continued to play through the night as they both gave and took what the needed from eachother. The last thought that crossed both of their minds before they finally succumbed to sleep in eachother's arms was that they had to be in heaven, as things couldn't possibly get better than the precious moments shared between them.

* * *

**Unchained Melody is by the righteous brothers, not me. I do admit that as I was writing this, it started to resemble that really steamy scene from Ghost, which did not influence this chapter. I didn't pick up on it until she wrapped her legs around him...then I thought of the clay scene from Ghost. Not intentional...Still, the resemblance made me feel the need to say I don't own that ether. No matter how much I love him, I can't do too much from Swayzie scenes intentionally, it hurts my heart too much. **


	12. Chapter 12

_"Mend me to your side, never let go. Time knows nothing, we'll never grow cold. The more I live, the more I know._

_ What's simple is truth. I love you." -Jewel, Simple is Truth_

* * *

Time passed and both Rick and Kate found themselves completely lost in eachother. Nights were spent wrapped within passionate embraces and days in deep conversation. On a clear morning they sat by the lake, enjoying the rustle of the trees in the distance as the wind moved through their leaves. Both Rick and Kate found it interesting that their place was shared, this world that had been created for the two of them. Rick never went elsewhere, as her mother had done.

The couple spent time with Johanna, Rick basking in the glory of finally being able to watch her ice skate. Kate enjoying herself thoroughly as Rick fell again and again on the ice. Both spent a great deal of time with Roy, who was waiting on his own beloved wife to join him. From time to time they would stargaze, swept up in the beauty of their world. They would often sleep under the stars, always waking to find joy in the other's presence.

Johanna Beckett visited the two frequently, and would enjoy watching over loved ones with them. The time for Kate's father to join them would be approaching soon, she felt. Kate had shown Rick how to watch over their loved ones, and a great deal of time was spent watching over Alexis. She had grown so much in the time since they'd both passed on.

They saw her graduation from college, watched her as she celebrated with Martha over her acceptance into medical school. Late nights studying for midterms and fights with boyfriends, all of it was seen from afar by those who loved the girl most.

One morning they gathered to welcome Martha, who had passed from a heart attack in her sleep. She'd spent a great deal of time with them, but moved on fairly quickly. She'd lived a long and fulfilling life and was filled with little regret. One evening, before Martha moved on, the four watched in awe as a beautiful woman, red hair pulled up gracefully, with soft curls falling around her veil, spoke her vows and gave her heart to another.

Their Alexis had become a doctor and had married her colleague. They'd started as friends, but the relationship developed into something much more beautiful. This fact made Rick and Kate smile to eachother, remembering their own friendship and unspoken love fondly. As Alexis Castle became Alexis Stewart, her father and grandmother cried tears of joy for the beautiful woman before them. He had no doubt that his little girl would be ok, but was completely overjoyed to watch it come to pass.

* * *

The day Johanna Beckett had been waiting for came sometime later when her husband, her soul mate, was finally able to join her once again. Kate embraced her father tearfully, overjoyed that the man's long-time battle with cancer was finally over. He'd held to his only daughter, taken-aback by her joy and beauty, and by the lightness that she now carried. It was something he rarely saw in his daughter during her living years.

Kate and Rick watched in awe as the lovers were finally able to be together once again, recognizing the familiar peace that came over them when they were together once more. Jim and Johanna had waited such a long time for eachother, but now that they were together it all seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye.

When the two were finally ready to move on they came to tell Kate so. She, although happy for their taking the next step of their journey, was filled with sadness at the thought of her parents moving on. They sat with her then, with both she and Rick, and explained to them that where they were going, the roles of family fell away.

"Kate, when we leave this place we are no longer husband and wife, our souls are simply united. When we all reach our final destination, we are simply together. We will meet again, but the roles of mother and daughter will not be needed anymore Katie. These physical bodies will not be needed, our spirits will be together." Johanna tried to help her daughter understand that there would be complete peace when they moved on.

"So should Rick and I be moving on too?" Kate asked.

"When you're ready you both can." She answered, but in the mean time you can stay here and continue to experience, you can continue to be in touch with those amongst the living. You could even choose to re-join them.

"Re-join them?" Rick inquired.

"Yes, you can always choose to go back, to live again. You return to learn and grow, and when you're ready, you move on." Johanna explained.

They both nodded. Johanna and Jim both stood and motioned for the younger couple to join them. Once they did, they walked across the meadow one final time, crossed over the bridge and into the woods. As they walked they reached a familiar trail, it was the one that led to the waterfall where Kate had made contact with Rick before he joined her.

As they passed the magnificent waterfall, pooling into a deep lake, Johanna motioned to it.  
"Do you see that trail?" She pointed to a path that cut around the back of the waterfall, leading around a hill that led all the way to the top. She then pointed to the top of the water and spoke "That," she said pointing to where the land met the cascading water, "is the way back." Kate nodded at her mother, but continued to follow her through the woods. She'd never gone this far and wasn't sure where it led.

* * *

After some time they found themselves in the center of another meadow, this one had long grass the blew gently in the breeze. The warm sunlight cast a glow upon it and gave everything an ethereal golden tone. Ahead was a beautiful tree, one that also had a glow about it. The sunlight seemed to shine directly onto the tree, it's brightness making it difficult to focus directly on it. Johanna then stopped and took her daughter's hand.

"This is where we all move on." She spoke to the pair of them. They understood that it was time to say goodbye, at least for now.

Johanna held to her daughter for quite some time, while Jim Hugged Rick. Both of her parents embraced Castle lovingly, thanking him for all they'd done for Kate. After Kate spoke her tearful goodbyes to both parents, she and Castle watched them make their way across the field, hand in hand. They watched as their figures moved farther and farther away before finally reaching the beautiful tree in the distance. They turned one more time, blowing kisses and waving to the younger couple, and walked away; their images disappearing into the shimmering light that surrounded them.

* * *

That evening Rick and Kate spend a great deal of time lost in their thoughts. Both were curious about what would come next for them. After some time, Kate spoke up,

"You know, there are things that I really would like to do; things that we never had the chance to experience Castle." She turned to him with a smile on her face. He smiled back to her and responded in kind,

"Like get married and raise a family together." She nodded to him, a smile still on her face.

"It would be kind of fun to do it again, wouldn't it?" Rick asked her, somewhat excitedly.

"To have the adventure of finding eachother and falling in love all over again," Kate finished his thought for him.

"We could go back and do it all again. Even if we don't remember this life, it would be a blast to live another with you," Rick spoke, squeezing her hand and kissing the back of it.

"It would be over in the blink of an eye if we've got eternity. Why not give it another go?" At his suggestion Kate smiled and nodded.

They took another moment to look down over their loved ones,

They saw Laney and Javi, both trying to be strong as they watched their twins leave for their first day of school.

They saw Ryan and Jenny, surrounded by three rambunctious boys of their own.

They saw Alexis and her husband, both very busy with work, but happy to have eachother.

Rick and Kate smiled, knowing that they would all be ok, and that they would all be together again soon. In that moment, Richard Castle stood to take her hand. Together they walked back towards the waterfall, towards another life together.


	13. Chapter 13

_"Immortality. I make my journey through eternity. I keep the memory of you and me inside."_

_-Celine Dion, Immortality(Bee Gees)_

* * *

Alexis Stewart seemed to move around the empty apartment in somewhat of a blur. Just a few boxes left to take down, the movers coming in and out as they drew one step closer to starting their journey. She wasn't sure what she was thinking, accepting the position at Mount Sinai. It was such a great opportunity though, as she and Michael had both been offered jobs. It was part of the negotiation process; they wanted one they got them both. She and her husband were a packaged deal.

It had been years since Alexis had been in New York city, since before she was married and that was nearly 8 years ago. Although it would be good to be back in the city she was raised in, she found it strange to be there after her father passed so suddenly. Then, after her grandmother, there had been little reason to stay. Afterall, her mom was here in California and Michael's family was from the area. Still, the job opportunity was too good to turn down. Looking around her apartment once more she took a breath and prepared to make her way down to the moving van. "Kat." She yelled. She got no response.  
"Kat!" she yelled again. Still nothing. _That stubborn girl_, she thought to herself shaking her head softly before yelling.

"Katherine Elaine Stewart! It's time to go now!" She waited as she heard the scurry of footsteps that followed. The girl would know her mother was serious by the ominous use of her full name.

"But mom, I can't find Lacy's shoes!" The little girl objected, motioning to the bare feet on her favorite doll.

"I'm sure Lacy's shoes are in a box with the rest of your toys Kat." Alexis stared down her daughter. She'd often thought about the obvious poor insight in naming the girl after Katherine Beckett, as the girl had to be every bit as stubborn as her namesake was. The young girl had such similar mannerisms that sometimes Alexis was struck by it. She was fierce and determined, the only child she knew of that refused to sleep with a nightlight.

The small red-head let out an exasperated sigh, her pale blue eyes filled with impatience. She moved towards her mother to take her hand, smoothing out her purple dress and wiping her pale brow with her sleeve. Alexis stopped once more before they walked out the door to straighten the purple bow in the girl's hair, that bow had become somewhat signature for the young girl, who refused to leave the house without it.

* * *

Alexander Ryan sat quietly by the lake at the cabin his parents had rented. The eight year old boy was different from his three older brothers, who all liked to rough house. The two oldest were on the wrestling team at their high school, and his other brother excelled in baseball. Alexander was different though; he wasn't athletic and didn't want anything to do with team sports. Alex liked science and he liked art, he liked to paint, to make up stories and to write poetry. His dad always told him that he was like his uncle Rick, who although he was named after, the boy had never met. His uncle Rick had died long before he was born.

On that August day Alex sat alone under the willow tree that looked out over the lake where his brothers swam, sketching the leaves and making up stories and adventures I his head. They were all here for a family Reunion, as his mom and dad called it. He thought it was funny because they weren't actually related to any of the people coming.

Still, he knew most of the people who would be joining them. Aunt Laney and Uncle Javi would come by and bring their daughters. They were nice, but they were little kids and Alex didn't have anything in common with them. Everyone was excited because another friend was visiting and bringing their kid, who wasn't much older than the twins. Alex wasn't interested in meeting another girl though, and found that he was content to be off on his own anyway. Truth be told, Alex didn't have a lot of friends. He found that he didn't like to talk to people, becoming painfully shy when he was approached by others.

"What are you writing?" a voice startled Alex and caused him to look up. There he saw a little girl, a beautiful little girl. He'd never seen her before, but swore that he knew her anyway. She made him smile and want to laugh and he didn't know why. Her red hair was swept back into a French braid with a purple bow tied at the end and she had bright blue eyes, which were currently watching him expectantly.

"So?" She asked again "What are you writing?" She moved closer to where he sat, joining him on the banks of the lake beneath the willow tree.

He smiled at her again, and this time she smiled back. They both just started to laugh. The usually shy boy began to speak with an animated voice, telling the little girl all about the adventures of captain underwear. The kids sat there, under the tree and continued to laugh.

The adults watched the two, who were laughing under the tree, in astonishment. Kevin and Jenny had never seen their youngest son open up to anyone so easily. Alexis simply smiled, not surprised that her daughter would drag him out of his shell. They watched as the children eventually got up and began to chase eachother around, impressed with how fast their bond had formed.

From that day on, the two children were inseparable.

**The End. **


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